What meditation changed in my spiritual life

I grew up in a megachurch.

For all the baggage that comes with that term, one of the best experiences of my teenage years was Youth Camp.

Every morning, they sent us out across grassy fields still wet with dew, journals in hand, near a quiet lake. The goal was simple: to teach us how to have a daily “quiet time” with God.

The journal was divided into five sections:

Praise
Thanksgiving
Intercession
Petition
And a fifth one I can’t quite remember

It was good training. It taught me that spending time with God was something to return to every day. Still, I struggled to maintain it.

Over the years, my “quiet time” evolved, but it usually looked like some version of the same thing: reading scripture and then telling God what I needed, wanted, or hoped would change.

There was sincerity in it. And faith.

But there was a whole lot of thinking and not much listening.

What meditation changed

When I began practicing Sahaja Yoga, I didn’t stop praying. But something fundamental shifted.

Meditation gave me a way to become still—truly still. Not filling the space with words. Not directing the moment. Just paying attention.

At first, that stillness felt unfamiliar. Even a little uncomfortable.

If I’m being honest, it made me anxious. As though planes might fall from the sky if I stopped managing my thoughts for a few minutes. (Which, of course, reveals more about my ego than my theology—apparently I believed my thinking was holding the world together.)

I was used to doing something for God, not waiting.

But over time, I realized how much of my prayer life had been shaped by speaking. Explaining. Asking. Managing.

Meditation created space for listening.

Not listening for an answer. Just giving my whole attention to God’s presence.

Learning a different posture

One unexpected effect of sitting in stillness is becoming aware of my own inner posture.

How often I came to prayer with an agenda.
How quickly I moved to control.
How rarely I allowed silence to do its work.

Meditation didn’t make me less faithful. It made me more honest.

It taught me that listening requires humility. That God doesn’t need constant instruction from me to be present.

Prayer didn’t disappear—it deepened

Prayer still has a central place in my life. Scripture still matters. Gratitude still matters.

What changed is the balance.

Meditation taught me how to stop talking long enough to notice what’s already there. To receive instead of manage.

That shift has been the biggest gift. Sahaja Yoga has given me a way to surrender more fully to the God who loves me—to the God I love. And to experience the freedom that comes from setting aside effort and simply being.